A slight relief

SANMUN is this weekend in Sandefjord. I've done my research, and it is so much which is actually relevant to Ireland's view in the social, humanitarian and cultural committee. I've been shortening it down to the most relevant policies, information and actions for days and yet I have to much...:S But at least I am prepared. I must say, although I am anxious about the conference, I am not that a costume to the formality and am scared to humiliate my self and my delegation, I am looking forward to it.^^ It has provided some inconveniences, concerning my diet and all. And the stock of homework I am getting done, I know I have done them but I cannot seem to remember any of the content.


The last couple of weeks, according to many sources, I have driving my self to hard and acting accordingly, but I have to keep it up no matter what. I can not say I have not noticed the affect of my actions, for that I have for some time now, I keep telling my self I have to press on; Just a little bit more while you're at it. If not, if I surrender how am I ever going to pass IB and see to my other responsibilities? I do my homework thoroughly and I read through it as always, but now even that work and effort is not enough to make me get by at school. I am failing classes I like and which I though I would preform the best in. I fall a sleep during class, which of course does not help, and I am getting tired and annoyed more quickly. Although certain things are not improving, rather the contrary, something has improved. All though I am not convalescing, I learnt to day that my iron levels has increased and stabilised them selves. Tea is drinkable again^^, I can still not drink coffee and have to do with other awakening drinks or methods. But the tea is as if sent from heaven. But good news seldom comes with out some bad; In theory I am suppose to be worse of then I am, which is good to know I am doing better then I ought to, yet I know from what I also learnt today; I will be tired and over worked for many weeks, months to come and I am afraid I will not make nice company. This has already started, and I am not really thinking clearly. And for those this has effected and I have been hard on, I apologise, and especially to a dare friend(that only wanted to help me make the right decision). I am sorry but know this, I do care, although I act the other way, which makes it so freaking hard. Just bare with me, ignore me. Some of you are doing so;P



Anyhow I am actually content at the moment, and cannot bother to care. At the present I am sitting at my desk with my computer, my research and a cup of TEA!!! I have not been able to drink tea in a long while, just that alone is giving me new strengths.