Incognito

The scenario is not new. You have thought of it often since you learned what the feelings and thoughts actually meant. You thought you knew what to say , but it turners out no matter how many hundred times you have gone through it in your mind you could never have expected what would happened. If the opportune moment were to present its self, you would say what your heart was bearing. Yet somehow when the opportune moment presents its self, you felt better as to let it slide. For it could hurt more then heal even though it could make it easier. Better to let it slide. Send those thoughts in to hiding and live as normal.


The crocked smile, you remember. To let it slide was better. The crocked smile can be felt now and then. Snow is sliding down from the heavens to seal your decision, or perhaps it is rain. You'd rather it be snow

Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots. - Victor Hugo

Every time we say goodbye, I die a little. Every time we say goodbye, I wonder why a little.

Painfully bored

A friend of mine posted this yesterday I think and then an other copied it and then I of course had to do the same:P Am at home at the moment trying to ignore the pains. I miss natural-painkillers. Strange to think that they'll disappear after a long-stupid time with pains.... ;( So am I a boy or a girl or maybe a towngirl?

Your boy side

[x] You love hoodies. (They make me feel hidden...)

[x] You love jeans.

[x] Dogs are better than cats. (Loyalty folk!)

[ ] It's hilarious when people get hurt.

[x] You've played with/against boys on a team. (Swimming, we beat the guys^^)

[x] Shopping is torture.(Don't really like it, but what should we do in stead?)

[ ] Sad movies suck.

[ ] You own an X-Box. (PC that's what I got.)

[x] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.(Strangely enough that happens when you best friend is a boy)

[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.(I used to have an uncle who was one and I idolized him)

[ ] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.

[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

[x] You watch sports on TV. (Depends what's on, but SkiVM and OL is a must)

[ ] Gory movies are cool.

[x] You go to your dad for advice.

[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps.

[ ] You like going to football games.[I don't mind, cause it's something special to be at the stadion)

[ ] You used to/do collect baseball cards.

[ ] Baggy pants are cool to wear.

[ ] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (NO!It's nice:D)

[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. (Green!!!Come on I'm a tree for crying out loud. However I find black nice)

[ ] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

[x] Sports are fun.(depends what kinds but I love some^^Just to bad I'm so lazy:D)

[ ] Talk with food in your mouth.

[ ] Wear boxers.

Total = 11 points

Your Girl Side

[ ] You wear lip gloss. (HEEEELL NO!Keep those things away from my lips)

[ ] You love to shop.

[ ] You wear eye-liner.

[x] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.

[ ] You wear the colour pink. (Wouldn't be seen dead wearing it)

[x] Go to your mom for advice.

[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.

[ ] You hate wearing the colour black.

[ ] You like hanging out at the mall.

[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

[x] You like wearing jewellery. (A necklace, rings and ear rings^^)

[x] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.(Though that doesn't say much, it's the only things that's actually folded or hung neatly in my closet)

[ ] Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.

[ ] You don't like the movie Star Wars.

[x] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.(dance and gymnastics when I was little:D)

[x] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories. (Shower as long as I can stand the cold, but I don't do make-up)

[x] You smile a lot more than you should. (Apparently I've got crocked smile though, and I laugh of the most unfunny things^^')

[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

[ ] You care about what you look like.(Not really as long as I feel comfortable I don't care how I appear for people, not that I go around smelling or anything like that, but there are more important things in life)

[x] You like wearing dresses when you can.

[x] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.(Perfume's nice)

[x] You wear girl underwear.(Well dah..)

[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid.

[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.

[ ] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Total: 12 points

Wow O.o That's not a huge difference but doesn't matter I'm a girl I'm aloud:P Be well people listen to good advise and tongue the bad once:B

Today, while doing research for my formal orals, which is on Wednesday:s*help!*, I found an article on BBC's websites dated back to January the 13th 2007, about a prisoner moved to Belmarsh HM Prison. Belmarsh is a top-security prison in London. It is ranked as a category A prison which is the most secure prisons in England. The article introduces us to Joe Farnan, who is charged with escaping from custody and breaking out of prison. So strange and randomly I came over this article. There was a picture there too, he looked so frightened and yet he lookes content in the picture...Just felt like I had to enlighten you guy...


The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned. Let your self go and concentrate...What else can you do? Don't shut me out...Cause I'll send moose on you:P

Ordinary day

"Is there no hope?" the sick asked. The silent doctor shook his head and took his leave with signs of sorrow, despairing of his fee to-morrow. "Is there no hope? How can that be?" the sick said to him self before the world outside the window. "If there are no hope then how come I can still see the world unravel before my eyes?"

Time went by and the doctor slid through the door "We can see this unravel. The world has just smiled at you, a crocked smile, but a smile nonetheless".

Just a day, just an other ordinary day. And if we walk now we will divide and conquer this land. Do you not realise that our dreams are right in the palm of our hand. Please come with me. See what I see. Understand my view, be amazed by it. Time will not flee, cause time know she is already running out. As any other woman she knows that when time is running short you stall. She aims. Just a dream, just an ordinary dream. As you wake in bed you think time is not a question, was it all in my head?
It all seemed so real. But as I looked to the door I saw that door, this room and all were part of a deal. Live while you can, do you not see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand.

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Today I was actually not sleepy(!), but man how tired aren't I? I try to relax and shift into the sweet calming land of dreams, but I have no access to that land without a lunch consisting of several pinex fortes... At least I'm getting glasses some time next week. So the headaches will disappear.
Child of the wilderness, born into emptiness. Learn to be lonely, learn to find your way in darkness. Who will be there for you, comfort and care for you. Learn to be lonely, learn to be your one companion. Never dreamed out in the world there are arms to hold you, you've always know your heart was on it's own. So laugh in your loneliness, child of the wilderness, learn to be lonely. learn how to love life that is lived alone. Thank the Gods I have friends, thank you all*hugies*

A slight relief

SANMUN is this weekend in Sandefjord. I've done my research, and it is so much which is actually relevant to Ireland's view in the social, humanitarian and cultural committee. I've been shortening it down to the most relevant policies, information and actions for days and yet I have to much...:S But at least I am prepared. I must say, although I am anxious about the conference, I am not that a costume to the formality and am scared to humiliate my self and my delegation, I am looking forward to it.^^ It has provided some inconveniences, concerning my diet and all. And the stock of homework I am getting done, I know I have done them but I cannot seem to remember any of the content.


The last couple of weeks, according to many sources, I have driving my self to hard and acting accordingly, but I have to keep it up no matter what. I can not say I have not noticed the affect of my actions, for that I have for some time now, I keep telling my self I have to press on; Just a little bit more while you're at it. If not, if I surrender how am I ever going to pass IB and see to my other responsibilities? I do my homework thoroughly and I read through it as always, but now even that work and effort is not enough to make me get by at school. I am failing classes I like and which I though I would preform the best in. I fall a sleep during class, which of course does not help, and I am getting tired and annoyed more quickly. Although certain things are not improving, rather the contrary, something has improved. All though I am not convalescing, I learnt to day that my iron levels has increased and stabilised them selves. Tea is drinkable again^^, I can still not drink coffee and have to do with other awakening drinks or methods. But the tea is as if sent from heaven. But good news seldom comes with out some bad; In theory I am suppose to be worse of then I am, which is good to know I am doing better then I ought to, yet I know from what I also learnt today; I will be tired and over worked for many weeks, months to come and I am afraid I will not make nice company. This has already started, and I am not really thinking clearly. And for those this has effected and I have been hard on, I apologise, and especially to a dare friend(that only wanted to help me make the right decision). I am sorry but know this, I do care, although I act the other way, which makes it so freaking hard. Just bare with me, ignore me. Some of you are doing so;P



Anyhow I am actually content at the moment, and cannot bother to care. At the present I am sitting at my desk with my computer, my research and a cup of TEA!!! I have not been able to drink tea in a long while, just that alone is giving me new strengths.