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Love does not begin as we seem to think it does. "He looks at her, she looks at him. Their hands touch, they see in to each others eyes. Their lips meet in a sweet kiss." This is the dream, the fantasy. For most this is far form the truth, but on the rare occasion it does happen, and you are flying from that moment on.

Love is a battle, you struggle to find your ground. Struggle to steady yourself, you're pulled at from every side. Some times pushed even. Love is a war. If you've let it into your heart you'll be lucky if you'll ever see it leave. Once it's in there, you've got a troubled heart. Second guessing becomes your ground, worrying, reasoning.



Love does not begin as we seem to think, nor does it end that way. Hope. Hope is devastated by the truth of life, by reality; love is growing up. Begins with infatuation, develops to love if you are that lucky. To bad it's not synchronized

Final destination

It seems to me that life is determined, not by the absence of death and that which follows, but by the presents of death and all those casualties. The light we may see in the end of the tunnel, when death roared over us but not yet due with time, is the goal of our life. The ending of all that is contradictory from our essence. The new beginning at life's end.





Yesterday. A day, which once meant so much. Now it seemed as just an other day in an uncertain range of days to come. The day represented multiple notifications. Amongst those my bothers birthday. Strange how that date also happened to provide me with an wider understanding of the phrase "you must get worse before you can become better". Strange how a date of joy for my brother also mark a turning point in my own life, both good and bad it was. Both the good memories and the bad news, were apparently of no significant then, or now. Nevertheless I still looked over my shoulder with emotions.





It seems to me that life changes in a split second. Never constant, always changing. You're happy with the small changes in life, even some vital news given that should shake your existence can be over looked, whilst life in it's whole is looking bright. Other news devastates you, and those news don't even have to be vital. It's the small things that destroy you. And life is never constant.




It seems to me that the only constant we know in life, is death and the new beginning there after. What will be your final destination if you could see death, like the youth in the "final destination" - films. Would you run, or embrace her?



edit: Life nurses it's seed to grow therefore she must be a caring mother, then death must be an other kind of mother, who's kindness and truthfulness sets you free or capture you before you were due.

Pridie....Je change d'avis

Die quarto ante idus octobres nata sum...:s

People's on their way, food is prepared, soft tunes of music comes swimming through the air from the living room. Drinks ready to be served. There they are. Foot steps. The door bell. Greetings of warm, friendly embraces. I welcome them. They take of their coats and strutter in to the living room. Music is playing. The stereo plays familiar tunes, yet the tunes I seem unable to recognise. Seventeen. What a life. I wonder do they know? And does it matter? Everyone is apparently enjoying them selves.

I get by with a little help from my friends. What to do without them? Loneliness is not to be alone, but to not have anyone to miss. Do I really want this? That is what I want. Still doubt. Crocked smile. Enjoy with praise. Forth and back, laughter. Enlightenment. Night. Dreams...



Je change d'avis

Do not fret...

How to explain. Have you ever found yourself in the situation there you have been given the knowledge of something significant? This knowledge you find strange and in a sense scary yet not terrifying. You understand that no matter what, keep hope, secure hope. You are wise enough to foretell three possible outcomes: You can foretell difficult times before the end, yet while one path lean down toward the edge of your limits, there will be a light shining in the distance. An other path will be to much, yet the third you will leave with only the shadow hanging over you. You can foretell that hard times lies ahead, no matter which path the future beholds. The choice you are faced with is: do you go down your path alone, or do you drag others down with you?

Who wishes to worry friends, family or even their love? If they know that that which is significant, is only the potential for something serious, then why fare the worst? Why tell, when everything might turn out as if nothing ever where wrong? They wait and see. And if they start to notice the effect, then they turn to seek comfort.

We must remember that potential is only the possibility that something might arise, not a prophecy of the future. Along with the possibility you will find side effects that can not be ignored, although everything will turn out for the best

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf the Gray

Listen to this music and be calm: http://www.myspace.com/augustana
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