Eye of newt

What are memories but a window to the past? Through them we see, grasp and form the events of our past. Some memories aren't even ours, yet we may relive them from a story told, or the written words of grandfathers'. We see into a forgotten past with eyes of new, or newt as olden would have said of our world. yet what we see may alter as our personal agenda may play tricks with our minds. A detail may become clearer and fog our memory of the other events, or falsely state what was. Memories, they build what we are, cause from memories we draw our learning. A session from decades before can be relived to remind us of our skills. Yet I fear, I rarely force the reunion, as I don't wish to cloud them with doubt or mischief. Memories fade away with time as the sand is swept away by the sea. As I recall much change over time, our skin wrinkles and stiffens, the once mighty stream shrink to a small and calm river, all is doomed to fade even the sun and light, but let it fade in it's full glory as dignified as honour itself.

- tired of the pressing question; why not take a look to remind us of the past?
Why can't we simply prepare for the future and treasure what we have?

Stabbed

We try to avoid the stab. No one can see it as you do. Heartbroken, is the term. This feeling we seek to never find, yet not one who have sought love can say they have escaped. It is a manifesto of the inevitable, unattainable hope to feel but not know. We want to have the memories, experience the good sides of life without the sorrow it brings. To feel but not know, just mean that we hate consequences. Always present, pressing on our every move. Look at life as a chess game, and the act we call interaction becomes clear. Friends, family, love all is just one more act with pleasant or unpleasant consequences. i often ask where is the limit of friendly interaction, and exceeding on beyond the line. What is excepted and what is not? where do we cross the line when interacting with friends; can we say everything is excepted as long as friendship is implied and nothing more? Add a complication, you have a dear one, you are in a relationship. Does that limit your allowed actions and activities with friends? We can only realise this with constant comunications. But what if your brain overrule your emotions or vice versa? Me, I am bepuzzled. Sometimes isolations seem blissful. Yet I would not live in isolation. I am a free spirit, as it is called, no walls can keep me content. Friends are a large part of me, my ideals and creative expression also rule a part. Even the free spirit cannot escape the heartbreak. Nonetheless no heartbreak comes from friends, or does it? I mean can you be heartbroken from an inflatiation towards a friend? And if that friend act in compliance with you, something happens once. You are both aware it will never happen again, yet was that the line you crossed? Never a kiss, but the tuch perhaps? How do you know, and when you well sad due to the onetime only lable, that keeps annoying you. The sorrows are needed, and thay can be as sweat as the joys but hardest to bear is the regret. Regret that says, is that didn't hapen you would never have known how to miss it so dearly as you do.

-

I used to think, a thing or two
would never mean more to me than you
Now the snow is falling, in this late afternoon...
I believe i have found my way acoss the sea
The white is thrilling and cold
So scary and new, yet old familiar faces in my mind
Love be there i know - somewhere
The ocean is large, huge as star
in the wonders it may bring
-

Till we meet again

Below is a semi translated-rewritten norwegian song called "till we meet again"

You gave all you had before you disappeared
We recycle the sorrow you left behind.
Beauty bare no burden
Yet you bore a heavy weight

A hope is there till you give up
Then all is lost
It is love
That never fail
When created, remain for all time
Till we meet again, my friend
till then

A secret was your burden
Hidden from sight
Now it is too late
To bide the troubles
Time bare no burden
But you bore the weight

A hope is there till you give up
Then all is lost
It is love
That never fail
When created, remain for all time
Till we meet again, my friend
till then

Difficult times are there to enlighten the effortless joy
They give us hope of a beter tomorrow

A hope is there till you give up
Then all is lost
It is love
That never fail
When created, remain for all time
Till we meet again, my friend
till then

Standing silent at the crossroads, with no desire to run...

Today I broke a tradition with two days. You could say it wasn't broken just escalated. Nonetheless for me it was the final straw, gone be the last linkage to a period I will always remember with joy, love and remorse. Three years ago, the thirteenth, I was a first grader and some of my fellow class mates and I went to see the school revue. However that is what has been reoccurring every year since on that exact day and time, not this year though but the time is right.

Three years ago before the revue an other group of friends and I had been out in the forest and I. In the forest emotions stirred as they often do at the age of fifteen- sixteen, it were to become the start of an era in my life. One I'll always remember and is eternally grateful to have experienced, but one I am happy to say is over. For as good as it was, it also had an end where emotions stirred that I may not be proud to say over through me now and again, but they stirred. I use a long time to get past such but I have and now there resides only good memories in my mind; the pain has flown and I see the knowledge to draw from experience.

The "revue" always reminded me not to give up due to remorse. It will continue to do so but won't be the same as it won't happen to rewind time to that dormant memories of youth; the first look followed with the first rush that leads to strong devotion; hence to the first kiss...

The first kiss of significance.

What to do...

You are the angel of Nature mostly known and also company. You thrive on the atmosphere being filled with company and love, but foremost you seek nature's calm silence. You love flowers, plants and gardening, as it creates the calm nursery the living's life lacks. You are at your highest when you have all these things, you then love to think of lovely memories with people. You are trustworthy and people can confide in you without the fear of betrayal and stupidity. You have one of the most beautiful mentally...

Thu shall not believe what ye hope to find. Thee fates has not given ye ransom to act more valued then truth be told. Find yer friends and stay there, befriend more and help the most.

Child of child from me have yet to come.

Why does words of love seem strange to me like a play of newborn actors that never knew the act of play? Perhaps it failed when wails wrapped my life a shade from them. Whilst his was open there to see for ears and heart yearning to listen. If you listen as we go, I say: let us go you and I.

Is it true?

How can it be I feel so weight down when I finally can breath?
balance?

...

Yin and Yang they might have been.
Yang had the family seven years before,
she came to bliss his Day with joy.
When he came the mother's wrath,
nurse was in a shock, but made the quake.
She was late, her birth done right.
Family joy for later years.
A bliss foretold round Yole last.
All them cried, but she as Yin;
the out of world, the one alone to roam;
calm as the peace dove sat.
Reckless they both blew with each other.

A father's tears joined by son and mother's rage.
Sweet sleep with reckless contrast.
Now black and white go hand in hand.
Such sibling bliss they help to find.

I am turning cold to mend a fragile heart.

None could hear her thought
Silence of patience.
Voices roar above her subtle hints
For the third obvious such heavens weather.

He has grown. I hardly see my brother grown;
I see a reason from experience spun.
Such knowledge I hope for nought.

See tomorrow shine...

?

^'_'^

I'm growing up
with each passing of time
I learn what I wish I did not earn.
I'm growing up with the passage of time
such a silly term
Loss and hope all combined
do we have a power?
how do we make it through
life is a river and so is death too
but sorrow and pain follow our lives
is death the end or the beginning again?
I do not know but the snow make wonder
in time it'll leave to regenerate life

Eternity

every reason d'être I see
- without a trace -

every coup d'etat I witness
- stay forever -

I'll sore straight to heaven.
- hold me down -
You know I can't stay forever.
- hold me down -

It, always seem to be quite sweet. Never wanting it to end, then reality calls. Not yearning it's call, I open the door. In that moment in the tween. I do not know the inanest dream of me, but I see it in the hearts around me, I see it in me. I'm grounded. When you leave you better be gone forever. Leave my sight, without a trace left to linger. When you're finally gone, I should be out without a trace... You were leaving me thus I abandoned you.

Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us - M. Scott Peck