^^

They say trust work both ways, but have you ever found it that those you give your trust too seem to doubt yours? A true friend knows what to believe and not too act on false rumers to save their own ass, but it seems even with the truth in their mind they seem unable to know how to act. Guess the only advise to give is this: trust but your selves and know that if you need it you have friends but only for so long.

Music washes from the soal the dust of everyday life, so write the music that befits you^^

She smiles

< hehe > he goes.
she smiles
Behind those pail and blue eyes of hers a secret lurckes even hidden from herself. The only release is awaited in a breakdown or in the time when her inhabations are lowered. What's the clue she need? I'll tell she would love to know. The mind of people is omnious but a necessity for us.
< she knows > but says not a word.
In her smile it can be seen
all the hope and promises broken have created this, this girl without footing, lost from roots, yet she's better off than before and she's loved.

Tunderstorm

When night is turned to day,
and the rain is pooring down,
You hear brawl from above,
You know that summer, warm and sweat,
comes not without it's cost
the law of consequence remains.

With a flicker in the sky
like a stream that never ends
the Gods allmighty speak
You know that even summer
comes not without cost
the consequence will surface.

Remember, friend

Friendship is no easy concept.
Wonder why we are friends? Good or bad.
We wonder, wonder why we found such friends.
Good friends are there for you as a silent guardian.
Don't wonder, they are there; friends share, friends care.
Once a part in a friendship you ought to be there for friends.
When they need you, yet even more importantly when they don't need you.
Remember
No one read minds; comuncation and speach
speach may be silent...

The rise of a new dawn

The saying of the red dawn, tell of the beholder where he or she is traveling or has travelled in the past. A red dawn speak of blodshead this night past, be it a worrier. A lover whisper of it a new becoming and of hope yet to be held. Those old of age look at it as a vitness of their deeds and how it will ease their journey into the everlasting night. So it beeth an end where new hope lies ahead to blossom where the old took leave for the new. Now despear must fall and give way to hope, for how else can we continue on our path to fulfilment. But in our lives the sun rise and set in red at many a time. Often as not, we can not see the warning, nor do we see the promise of hope. Hence our becoming dawn rise ever so long after it was set.

Time is a strange concept. The moon rose and fell many a time before I could accept that which could not be. A longer time I took to understand and graspe the delicate balance, for which it meant, between emotion and reason. However, through tunes of music the wale was lifted from my eyes. I see now with the clear sight I left misted on own accord in the fright of being left alone. As the tunes fuelled me head, they whispered the mist away. More than one share one stretch of the path at any given time in the different earas of life. I see now, we are all alone: only not all the time. In me fright to be lone, I set out on a far lonelier road. I was brought in circles, which begun an ended where I strayed the path, until I saw clear skies above. From there my path continues, and my mind is at ease.

Yes, truth be told, love I still bear for what was, but which cannot be, but now no more than a beloved memory. Me heart is mended, and returned to my safe keeping once more. This enlightenment I have long sought. Nonetheless, I sought it elsewhere since I thought of it with lovesick hope and I sought after a harder answer. A greater task I thought of, when all it was is the knowledge to let go and the strength to forgive, not others, but to forgive one self.

Friends and companions may give words of wisdom but if we only see clouds above; our ears are deaf for thus words.

Mellon, oiö nä ëleallä älassë.

Mellon, the saying goes, as all know within their hearts; "beauty comes from within". It is ours to listen too, some more so then others do. Henceworth the bottom line never changes; for the truth lieth in our heart, deep within us. Now how can you take told of me as a bearer of beauty of the diem, when in me heart I am but true. Me thoughts dwell not of thus beauty. For therein lurcks thoughts, in me mind it can not be just - nor truthfully told to be as you say in the great perspective - the layers around me heart are set as a convoy. Layers of light may conceal dark but it will not destroy even at sinew will.

Sinew will aren't but all.

- Thaun

Summer in me mind

Well all my long lost friends that have wondered outside of the safe bourders of this land have yet again returned to these shores. But for some it is only for a while intill they depart once more. Oh sweet summer and your joy; why must thy be so sweet?

Let summer dwell
Let us live for now
Let tomorrow bare the consequence
Let us for now be and we will rule with great thought when these times cease.
Let us enjoy this time of wormth and
let us subcome to the worries of the world when the time in paradice cease.

Je ne crois pas; je sais

Well I've applied to umpteen jobs yet nothing! I need something to drag me of this "comme un automate". It's like I'm in a trance: trying to not obsess! I'm doing all in my power to neither obsess over every detail of me life, nor to think to much about how different a lot of things could have been if i hadn't changed along the way and lost my self...

Je suis morte

il y a tellement longtemps.....

Tja maybe not but it seems I've lost my self when i found someone worth keeping.

Mais il peux me faire ressentir
comme si ce n'était pas le cas.
La reason pour laquelle il a viens me voir
Je ne crois pas...

Je as puer... On est embrasant. Je suis honte de ce que je ressens, tu sais que je ne peux pas manipuler le moment. Souffler à l'oreille dans le vent, ca a l'air moins réel.

Et puisque je ne suis qu'un mort pour[...]
alors!

Et laisser moi reposer en paix. Disparaissent une manière, vous a préoccupé des pensées...

Laisse moi dormir, sans vous là dans mon sommeil.

I know I have friends and i know where to turn but in my mind I can't be driven there. Guess this is the rant of a tired person who've seen such that she'd fallen tired of it all, and is in desperate need of some sleep. Not just sleep, but sleep that leave her well rested, not the kind where dreames that used to be wonderful is thought of as nightmares. Dreamless sleep would be most wanted....

Je peux m'allonger par terre mais je ne trouve pas ma douce libération; sommeil paisible.

Je sais, je devrais partir, mais je te suis comme un possédé. Il y a un traître sous ma poitrine.
Je suis mon ennemi, mais c'est difficile ne à pas....
Je suis mal mais je suis encore fort... Alors, même la personne la plus forte peut décomposez trop émotions. Il me fait souffrir plus que tu ne l'imagines, que tu ne comprends pas.

J'ai essayé mais je ne trouve pas ma douce libération.
Je pourrais avoir besoin sommeil paisible, maintenant.

Advancement

It's been to long since I was a part of the working life. People who work seems to have a purpose and of such they seem less depressive and unhappy. Of course most people who are depressive and unhappy are either those who have fallen for a mid-life crisis or there about, and they usually have a steady job. Still, I feel that when you are working to achieve both an decent income and to earn to life's customs, one become more energetic, more efficient.

This might just be me, but I seem to remember that I gave more, cared more, and bothered more back when I had a few jobs. I miss it really. With the "sabbatical" I've taken this year I feel like I've lost my self a bit along the way. It's really scary, job interviews didn't bother me much, but now I'm actually scared or at least rather nervous. I just hope it goes well, but then again my credentials from this last semester of school isn't the best. It's rather poor I fear...

What if I don't get it? There's always more work to be found. Yet I'm still worried I've been out of the game too long. here I go worrying for nothing, It'll go fine....[Keep telling my self]

Anxious

It was a triumph, I thought. Thinking I were on my way, acting alone, moving on and improving my health and myself. It was suppose to be a huge success, hard to over state my satisfaction...
We do what we must because we can, but also because we think it's for the best: for the good of all of us, except those who are dead, seemingly...

You keep on crying till you keep on trying, and when you run out of tries you go back to despair and the tears. I am not angry, I am sincere. Torn to pieces, torn between what I wish and want and what I feel. I've been so happy for you. And I sincerely are still. Though therein lies the problem. I am happy and more willingly to care for others' well being then my own. I'm no saint or any of the kind, but I still turn from my own problems. I deny them, till I can suppress them no more. They come in urges and unthought scenarios, there will be consequences, but which consequences will cause payment? Those of the past sins or those of the present past?

Anxiety have always been and will always be part of our conscience state of mind. It influences some more then others. Nonetheless karma will sum up our consequences and we must meet out bill one way or the other. Anxiety is felt strongly when we know the bill is overdue and we are waiting for the result. We may survive or we may not, either figuratively speaking or not.

I'm just wondering what I must pay. They say I live up to my carrier as an artist. Considering what James Taylor once said

That's the motivation of an artist - to seek attention of some kind